Bittersweet

I am feeling bittersweet my friend. Like a helpless bird in a snare your have spent half of your life trapped within your own body. The stories you have longed to share have been trapped inside your mind, never to find their way out. The songs you sing are only sung within your heart. Communication is only through the nod of your head or the blinking of those big brown eyes. That enchanting laughter we have shared has been truly magical, accompanied by laughing brown eyes and a beautiful smile
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All of the crazy stories I have shared with you in my animated ways, were vociferous and often bigger than life . When I would notice tears of laughter rolling down your face, I knew they had served their purpose well. The imaginary mountains we have climbed, and the paths we made through the endless hills of wildflowers as far as our imagination could carry us were some of the most beautiful moments I have spent with you. The waterfalls we have seen and the oceans we have crossed were only those in our imagination but hand in hand we have crossed just the same.

I am feeling bittersweet today for our time to explore the African jungles, and highest mountains peaks are coming slowly but surely to an end. I will miss you my friend but will never forget you. A firm grip you have had on my heart since the day our eyes first met. I will miss brushing your long dark hair. I will miss the smile on your face when I enter your room. I will miss our wonderful adventures but most of all, I will miss your laughing eyes and your gently soul. I will always remember the peace in knowing we could look deep into each others eyes and know exactly what the other was thinking without ever uttering a sound. I can only hope I have brought a fraction of the joy to your life that you have brought to mine.

I am feeling very bittersweet today. With each day that the sun rises and sets you are closer to freedom. As time is surely running out my friend, you will soon be set free. Free to fly…fly away home my sweet friend. All of the journeys we have shared in our minds will become real for you. You won’t just speak, and stand again. You will sing and dance once more Ranae.

I will miss you…. yet will know exactly where to find you. I will know when looking across the beautiful lakes and seeing the sunlight dancing on the water, you are dancing once more. I will look across the hills covered in wildflowers and I will know you are alive. In the snow covered woods when all is silent and at peace, I will know you are near me and with every bird I see gracefully gliding through a sunsets….. I will remember you Ranae and I will know you are free at last…. no longer a bird in a snare.
~Lisa Standridge~

 

***   I did not write the above words and will assume no credit.  My mother lived in a rehabilitation/nursing home for the remainder of her life after her car accident twenty years prior.  This beautiful letter explains so much of my mom on a deeper level than anyone else could have understood.  The woman who wrote this would often visit her own mother who shared a room with my mom.  During the course of her visits, the women formed a deep, spoken without words bond.  My mom has since passed away and is free to run and dance once again.

 

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