Take a trip through my mind and I can almost guarantee that you will leave with more anxiety than you arrived with. You pass me in the grocery store and I seem normal enough that your eyes do not even register that I am there. Oh, but I am. Silently over thinking several different things at once: wondering when the socks are going to finally match themselves, trying to remember how long the laundry has been sitting in the washer, thinking about the bald spot on the man’s head in front of me, pondering what material is a body bag made of, and last but not least when is bed time.
I go to work each day and sit at a desk trying to focus on the things in front of me but my imagination has other plans. Daydreaming about random things that most people do not even think about is a hobby of mine while I am on the clock. Standing over the scanner each day while scanning in the prior day’s paperwork is where I can do my best thinking and brainstorming. At least my work gets done each day. I’m a pro at simultaneously working and daydreaming. Each day ends at 5 pm sharp.
Before entering my humble abode each day, I can hear my kids growling, muttering, and arguing with everyone and everything in sight. Taking a deep breath before entering my own home is second nature. Once I open the door, the smell usually hits me first. A clean but smelly home. What is that smell you ask? My beautiful boys enjoy permeating the air with the aroma of human gas. The dog looks like he is about to be sick and is fighting to get outside for a breath of fresh air. Cleaning usually begins right away. Cleaning an already clean home? Yes, I am the wife of a man who has OCD. Meaning that since he is hardly home due to his working and teaching break dance classes, the housecleaning usually ends on my to do list. A very long list. Asking the kids to do chores is usually a bad idea. I tend to find soap on the ceiling or moldy rags hidden behind the water heater.
I used to be Krystal Rose Westerman. Now, after getting married, I am Krystal Rose Barrientos. 28 years old with 3 kids. All boys.